What, Exactly, Is This Mysterious “Serious National Security Threat”?

Just when everything was going perfectly for America and no one had anything to worry or complain about, House Intelligence Committee Chairman Mike Turner announced that we were all toast.

“Today, the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence has made available to all Members of Congress information concerning a serious national security threat,” Turner said in a Wednesday statement. “I am requesting that President Biden declassify all information relating to this threat so that Congress, the Administration, and our allies can openly discuss the actions necessary to respond to this threat.”

The release of such a statement from a congressman who is not known to be a crazy is rare. So when do we all die? Is there enough time to run a few errands?

The immediate effect of Turner’s statements was to induce a flood of complementary statements from other members of the “Gang of 8”—House and Senate leaders of both parties, plus the top Republicans and Democrats on the respective intelligence committees—about the issue. The consensus? The threat is real, but it’s more of an ongoing matter than a vaporize-your-face-today type of thing.

“I saw Chairman Turner’s statement on the issue and I want to assure the American people there’s no need for public alarm,” Speaker Mike Johnson said. “Beyond that, I’m not at liberty to disclose classified information and really can’t say much, but we just want to assure everyone steady hands are at the wheel. We’re working on it and there’s no need for alarm.”

Jake Sullivan, President Joe Biden’s national security adviser, said that he was a “bit surprised” to see Turner go public with this mysterious and sinister warning on Wednesday, given that the White House had already scheduled a Thursday briefing on it with the Gang of 8.

“That’s his choice,” Sullivan said.

Rep. Jim Himes, Turner’s Democratic counterpart atop House Intel, said that the threat is a “significant one” but “not a cause for panic.” Himes further told reporters that it is “something that the Congress and the administration does need to address in the medium to long run.”

Great. Got it. But what in the Sam Hill is it?

Per national security reporters, the threat supposedly is a “highly concerning and destabilizing” “Russian capability.”  Politico reported further that the “threat” is “related to Russia and space” and “Moscow’s weaponization of its orbital systems.” From there, others reported that the “orbital” “Russian” “space” “weapon” could be nuclear in nature—more specifically, “a space-based antisatellite nuclear weapon”—although it is still under development.

At this juncture, we don’t know too much about any Russian space nukes. One thing we can say with certainty, though, is that Turner did this as the House has two items of national security legislation in its lap.

The first is a reauthorization of federal warrantless surveillance authorities, a vote on which House leaders had intended to put to the floor this week. If Turner intended to scare the daylights out of members in order to grease that through, it didn’t work: Republicans pulled the measure from the agenda on Wednesday afternoon, because the House simply cannot pass any legislation.

The second is the national security package boosting aid for Ukraine, Israel, and Taiwan that ground its way through the Senate over the weekend. Turner is one of the “Three Mikes”—along with Armed Services Committee Chairman Mike Rogers and Foreign Affairs Committee Chairman Michael McCaul—whom Ukraine considers its top allies among House Republicans. With Speaker Mike Johnson dithering over what to do about Ukraine aid, Turner may have had a reason to amplify concerns about what Russia is up to.

How frightened should you be? Well, members briefed on it came out cracking those-clowns-in-Congress gags.

Carry on.