DEAR DEIDRE: WATCHING my best friend get married was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done – I’m madly in love with her.
Now, just a few months on, she’s confided in me that she’s made the biggest mistake because she realises she is in love with me.
She feels torn, though, and feels she should stay with her husband.
I’ve never really understood what she saw in this man.
He makes little effort with her and recently I’d even describe his behaviour as dismissively rude.
His treatment of her makes me cringe.
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She agrees his behaviour has got worse since they married.
I am 38 and my friend is 36. We have been friends since college and try to meet up in our lunchbreaks, as we work near each other.
We have confided in one another about personal things and even shared a kiss.
We both want more but how can that happen while she is with her husband?
She knows how I feel about her but her recent revelation was news to me. I am trying to process everything.
She is staying with her parents while she decides what she wants to do.
I have told her I don’t want an affair but I am willing to be there for her as a friend.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It is hard to watch someone you love suffer, but the most productive thing you can do is be there to support her when she needs it.
It could take some time for her to decide, so don’t be tempted to put your life on hold indefinitely and miss other opportunities which might come your way.
Having feelings for a married woman does not mean you should act on them.
To avoid more heartache, stick to your guns – let your friend know you are there to support her but can’t have a relationship unless she is single.